Your Nervous System Is Not Broken, it’s Brilliant
If you’ve ever criticized yourself for freezing up during a hard conversation, shutting down emotionally, or feeling the need to please everyone around you—pause right now. Take a deep breath.
What you call dysfunction might actually be your body doing its sacred job: survival.
The human nervous system is wired for protection. When you’ve lived through trauma, it becomes hyperaware, ready to guard you at a moment’s notice. That response isn’t broken—it’s brilliant. And the more we understand how it works, the more we can respond with compassion instead of shame.
Understanding the Body’s Alarm System
Think of your nervous system as your internal security guard. Its job is to scan for danger, sound the alarm, and activate defense. The problem is, for trauma survivors, the system is often stuck in “high alert,” even when the danger is gone.
That’s why someone saying, “You’re too sensitive” or “It wasn’t that serious” can be so harmful. It dismisses a biological reality.
Here are some trauma responses that often get mislabeled:
- Flight: You overwork, overthink, or avoid. People may call you “hyperactive” or “a control freak.”
- Freeze: You shut down, feel numb, or dissociate. You may be called “lazy” or “disconnected.”
- Fawn: You please others to stay safe. People may think you’re “too nice” or a “pushover.”
- Fight: You react quickly, defensively, or with anger. You might be labeled “dramatic” or “aggressive.”
Each of these responses developed to protect you. The challenge now is that what once kept you safe may be keeping you stuck.
Jackie’s Insight: Honor Before You Heal
In From Trauma to Purpose, Jackie Horton doesn’t shy away from the nervous system’s role in trauma recovery. She writes, “Before I could change my patterns, I had to understand them. I had to look at my survival instincts not with blame, but with deep reverence.”
That’s where real healing begins. We honor the parts of us that adapted so we could live long enough to choose something better.
Tools for Regulation (Not Rejection)
You don’t need to “get rid” of your trauma responses—you need to regulate them. That starts with learning how to send safety signals to your brain and body. Here’s how:
- Ground Yourself: Press your feet into the earth. Wiggle your fingers. Name five things you can see. This tells your body, “I’m here now.”
- Breathe Intentionally: Box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) can calm the vagus nerve and bring you out of fight or flight.
- Name What’s Happening: Instead of saying “I’m broken,” try “My nervous system is trying to protect me, but I’m safe now.” Language matters.
- Find Safe People: Co-regulation (feeling safe with someone else) can be just as powerful as meditation. Talk to a trusted person or therapist.
You Are Not Too Much
You are not too sensitive, too damaged, or too far gone. You are a brilliant, adaptive being learning how to live instead of just survive. Your nervous system helped you through the worst. Now, it’s time to teach it that peace is possible.
You’re not broken. You’re healing in real time.